There are consequences to reaching middle
aged that one simply
cannot anticipate. Some things you can anticipate, for example,
you know your knees will not recover from a long hike like
they did
when you were 25. For women, you know that at some point
you will
probably face plucking extraneous facial hair from your
chin and
maybe breasts. (Don't ask me how I know.) We all can also
expect
that our eyes will at some point be poor enough that we
will be
unable to see anything closer than 18" from our face.
With that in
mind I might have considered it possible that I would, say,
be
unable to read without glasses, or that I might miss my
wife's lips
on occasion when approaching her mouth for a kiss despite
the fact
that I've had many years of practicing this maneuver. Three
days
ago, however, I discovered that poor eyesight can have vastly
more interesting consequences than one might ever imagine.
My day job is that I am a massage therapist
on south Tejon St.
(No, not THAT far south on Tejon.) My wife (an acupuncturist)
and
I rent space in a fairly good sized office building which
we share
with 5 other massage therapists and a hypnotherapist. It
is a good
space most of the year, although it is problematic in October
of
election years because we also share a parking lot with
the El Paso
County Republican Party which is a fairly vibrant political
group.
During the spring we have another minor problem. We often
have an
ant population which awakens with ferocity for a few weeks
each
spring. If any food is left around the office they will
invariably
find it and attack it in long vulnerable lines of ant battalions,
moving with astounding efficiency (though slow speed) to
bring the
sustenance back to their queen who I'm sure awaits somewhere
under
our floor, hugely pregnant. It is only a momentary glitch
in our
spring so I usually forget about it over the course of the
year.
I was preparing to eat my PB and J on rice
cakes which I'd pulled out of the office closet to snack
on for lunch. (By the way, another gift of my middle years
is that I am now wheat gluten intolerant. This hurts both
my sandwich intake and my beer intake.) I sat down with
my guitar on my lap, opened the bag (which lay approximately
18" from my face) and decided to eat while holding
the sandwich in the bag so that the peanut butter and jelly
would not get onto my hands. I started eating and plinking
away, enjoying the crunching feel of the rice cakes in my
mouth. Just as I was approaching the last bite one of our
massage therapists came out of her office to say hello.
Our conversation caused me to pause while holding the bag
(and sandwich) in my hand. Within a few seconds I could
feel tiny feet moving around my fingers so I looked down
and saw that I was holding a bag covered in ants - hundreds
of ants - and what little sandwich I had left was equally
covered. Both my massage therapist friend and I looked at
each other with the dawning realization at what I had just
"crunched". Was I shocked? Well . . . yes. Did
I run to the bathroom and throw up? No. I mean I was raised
on a farm after all. We both looked at each other in a somewhat
pregnant silence, alternating between wanting to laugh and
wanting to say, "eeeeew".
Now at this point you may be wondering what
happened to the
remainder of the sandwich and I'd like to note that this
is the
difference between living in a third world country and living
in a
first world country. In a third world country I am acutely
aware
that this may be my only food for the day and whatever damage
is
going to be done by eating ants will probably already happen
so I
take advantage of the last 2 bites and shove them in my
mouth
trying to focus on the taste of peanut butter while ignoring
the
small ant screams echoing around my molars. I, however,
live in the
United States where the IDEA of finishing the sandwich is
anathema
to me now that I know what I now know about it. I actually
did
consider finishing the sandwich just to prove I had the
mental
fortitude to overcome the offending "idea", but
I realized that I
might traumatize our massage therapist friend which would
probably
leave the enduring legacy of being a "stinking ant
eater".
Instead, I opted to take the remainder outside to the garbage
can
where who knows, maybe some homeless person will find it,
because
some people still live in the third world even though they
live in
the first world if you know what I mean.
On a more positive note, I am considering
putting together a
concert to promote blood donations. Last week, after a 20
year
hiatus, I went to give blood at a local hospital after reading
that
the military was short on blood due to casualties in Iraq.
What I
discovered was that Ft. Carson took a 2 month supply of
blood from
each of the local hospitals to supplement their blood supply
so both
hospitals are very depleted right now. If you've never donated
blood before, or took a long hiatus like I did, please consider
going back in there and doing your part. It only took me
45
minutes from the moment I arrived until I walked out the
door (with
a cookie in each hand). If you can think of a way to do
a blood
drive that I could incorporate music into let me know.
Upcoming shows:
I have a fair number of private shows this summer but the public shows are listed below for the next month. PLEASE contact me if you'd like to host a house concert for me/us.
Sat. April 28th Guffey, Colorado Peaceful Henry's Restaurant/Bar My first appearance since the cancellation back in December due to snow. Between Royal Gorge and Hartsell on Hwy 9. Contact Richard Mandell at 57tr3@direcway.com for reservations. Richard is the owner, MC and local sax man down there. It is always a freaking blast to play there and the place has become one of my favorite haunts. Takes about 1 hours and 15 minutes to get there. 6-9PM
Sunday May 6th, Colorado Springs, Co. The Rocky Mt. Church of Religious Science at the Hillside Neighborhood Association (Hancock and Institute ?) Service 10 Am. Topic "Becoming". Phil and Hellen Hollar are the presiders and they always bring a dose of fun to the sacred.
Sunday, May 13th High Plains Unitarian Universalist Church which meets out on the N.E. part of town in Timberview Elementary. ( I believe) Service 10 Am. Visit the web site to find directions or email matthewcollinsjohnson@yahoo.com for further information. This is an alternate lifestyle friendly community and a great place to check out if you are a N.E. Colorado Springer.
Friday, May 18th Back to Guffey, Colorado to play Peaceful Henry's Restaurant/Bar. See above for reservations and contact information.
Sat. May 19th Mother's Day and Father's Day Concert. Unity of the Rockies $10 for Prepay Tickets (Contact Rebecca at 520-9538 or Audrey at 201-6869 to purchase prepay tickets.) $12 at the door. $20 for a family of any size My only true concert in the month of May in Colorado Springs. Unity of the Rockies is on the corner of Mesa Rd. and 19th St. Potluck at 6:15PM Concert at 7:30PM
Sunday June 3rd "Sunday on the Town". I am participating in this downtown Colorado Springs Event for the first time. There are more than 30 restaurants hosting music. I will be at the Olive Branch around 5pm for an hour set. Music on both sides of me so come on down for dinner.
Saturday June 9th TWO EVENTS TODAY.
1) I'm doing sound for a small festival at Soda Springs Park in Manitou from 10-3pm which will feature a few local acts (Sandi Shroads is one) and a California based songwriter name Cathy Bolton. It should be a fun community event which will be free and open to the public. Visit www.earthseeds.org for more information on this festival.
2) The evening show will be a house concert at the home of Phil and Helen Hollar, the ministers of the Rocky Mountain Church of Religious Science. The event is $12/$6 for kids and will begin with a potluck at 6pm, with the concert to begin at 7PM. The home is located at 3035 Dublin Blvd which is about 1/4 of a mile east of Union on Dublin in Colorado Springs. Please contact hellenhollar@msn.com for furthur info and for reservations.
Thursday, June 14th Outdoor concert at Liberty Heights Housing Community at 12105 Ambassador Dr. which is in northern C.S. off of Voyager and Rentron. Contact mstearns@seniorlifestyle.com for furthur information. Showtime 6-7:30pm Free and open to the public. This will be the first show in summer concert series so keep it in mind as the summer goes on! That's all for now Folks!. Peace Joe
More coming later in May. Please contact me if you'd like to host a house concert this summer. Blessings all. j
Uveges News Archives:
July, 2008 Uveges News
"Swimmer's Ear, The RUB, etc. "
June, 2008 Uveges News
"THE RUB, plus the updated summer Schedule,
N.Mexico, Spokane, Missoula Penrose"
May, 2008 Uveges News
"Summer Schedule, Touring and 'Driving' Now Available"
March/April, 2008 Uveges News
"Karl Marx Lesson, Colorado Springs
and Denver shows, N.East tour"
January, 2008 Uveges News
"Portland OR, HPUUC, Soul Link, and NASCAR"
October, 2007 Uveges News
"When Freedom Calls CD Release Concert "
September, 2007 Uveges News
"The End of Summer . . .Portland,
Black Forest, Monarch"
August, 2007 Uveges News
"Working Boys (Cont),
Aug./ Sept shows, Olive Branch Returns every Thurs"
July, 2007 Uveges News
"On summer projects, boys, and schedule"
June, 2007 Uveges News
"Ducks in trees, the Philharmonic, and schedule for june, july"
(click here)
April/May, 2007 Uveges News
Late April, Early May shows
and the story of the "Stinking Ant Eater"
(click here)
March, 2007 Uveges News
This weekend in C.Springs, and New Hampshire end of March
(click here)
February, 2007 Uveges News
Soul Link with S. Rissman, N. Hampshire etc.
(click here)
November, 2006
Pre-marital Sex, Tours and End of Year Shows
(click here)
September, 2006
CABOOM!!!
(click here)
August, 2006
August 06 Co.Springs, Creede, Trinidad
(Click here)
July, 2006
On Maggot Farming and the summertime schedule
(Click here)
June, 2006
Summer Musings and Schedule Through Late August
(Click here)
April, 2006
Music and Rafting on Bighorn Sheep Canyon
(Click here)
March, 2006
March shows and Monarch Ski resort
(Click here)
January, 2006
Soul Link
(Click here)
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